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There’s perhaps no greater human endeavor than the pursuit of not happiness – but attractiveness. Being more appealing to friends, strangers, and potential suitors is what fuels billion-dollar industries such as beauty and fashion, fitness and nutrition, cosmetic surgery even. And of course, who isn’t spending a lifetime working day and night so that they can fill their bank accounts with as much money as they can, just so that others will be drawn to them in out of admiration and respect? But while we put all our efforts into looking more attractive, we often neglect the things that make us less attractive – ugly even. What many don’t realize is that repelling people is less about good looks, sense of style, and a lack of money, but rather, more subtle and unconscious things. So if you’ve been doing all the right things and still find yourself single, alone, and people are even avoiding you like the plague, then check out these nine scientifically proven things you may be doing wrong.
Are you getting the nightly recommend 7-8 hours of sleep you need? If not, then you may be, unknowingly, coming off less healthy, sadder even. Studies have shown that people who burn the midnight oil, or skimp out on sleep are viewed as less attractive compared to those who look well rested. Definitely something to think about – or sleep on, anyway.
In a recent study out of Rutgers University, researchers discovered by showing a large sample of people faces accompanied the words “decent” and “honest” were considered more appealing than faces that were paired with words like “evil” and “mean”. Does this mean you have to be nice to everyone? No. But adopting the saying “It’s nice to be nice to the nice” would be nice.
Ladies, forget the foundation, blush, and eyeliner – because if you’re stressed out – you’re considered ugly by the opposite sex. Studies have found that women with higher levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) flowing through their bodies were perceived to be less attractive by heterosexual men. So if you’re stressed out ladies, take up some Yoga would you?
Contractive Body Language
What many don’t realize in our texting, tweeting, and status updating world is that real communication is over 90% non-verbal. It’s voice inflection, body language, the subtle signs and signals that are the biggest indicators of what we really mean. And nothing is more repelling than crossing your arms or hunching your shoulders – as the former unconsciously communication defensiveness, while the latter, a lack of confidence.
Being Too Happy Or Proud
Now this one’s surprising, especially considering all the ‘positivity promoting’ you see on social media, but it appears that men find women less attractive when they look proud, whereas women find men who look too happy unappealing. So if you’re out there on the dating scene and trying to figure out how to pose in your profile pic, men: look proud, and women: look happy.
Lacking a Sense Of Humor
Are you a downer, or even have just a below average sense of humor – then this is no laughing matter as you’re considered less attractive compared to those who can really yuk it up. You don’t have to be a stand-up comedian or anything, but if you hear crickets when you’re trying to be funny, taking some stand-up comedy courses may actually help.
Do you know that you’re better off looking like a highly motivated and hard working Steve Buscemi, than a lazy unambitious Brad Pitt? Yes, according to scientific studies, people who are unhelpful, uncooperative, and lazy are considered unattractive – ugly even.
Smelling Too Different / Similar
If you had to choose between losing your sense of smell or taste, which one would you pick? If you said taste you’re giving up pizza and watermelon gelato, if you chose smell, you lose out on sex. Yes, smell (more specifically pheromones picked up through olfactory) is what either gets us in the mood, or turns us completely off of a person. And when it comes to pheromones, genetically, people who smell too different, or, too similar repel us. Genes seek variety (hence the aversion to smelling too similar), but not that much variety (as with the too different).
Ever heard the old adage “relationships are based on trust” before? Well it’s true. And if you’re out there looking to attract a mate, honesty builds trust, bonding people together, making them feel comfortable around you. In fact, science has shown higher levels of oxytocin (our brain’s comfort chemical) in us when we’re around people we trust. So be honesty, because honestly speaking, dishonesty is more of a turn off than being unintelligent, or physically ugly even.